Category Archives for InkTober

InkTober: Day 28 – Burn

Yesterday was another rough day for me because I didn’t get much sleep the night before. It was also the first day of the InkTober challenge, I didn’t post my drawing. I’m posting this drawing a day late, not because I didn’t complete it yesterday, but because my pain made it necessary to spend most of yesterday asleep or resting; and even though I could have, I didn’t feel like rushing through posting it to put it up before midnight. One of the challenges of practicing mindfulness with my pain condition is giving myself permission not to do something, even when it’s something fun.

Yesterday’s word, burn, made me think of two completely unrelated things. The first was how terrible I am at roasting marshmallows. I’m fairly certain that I always end up with a bit of blackened – burnt if I’m being truthful – crust on any marshmallow I’ve ever held over an open flame. I’m not sure why that is when roasting marshmallows is something young children are quite skilled at doing. The other thing it made me think of is the ever-present pain in my body and how, sometimes, it makes me feel as if the flesh on my body is burning. This sensation becomes more intense when I’m about to experience a pain flare up and it’s one of the most uncomfortable feelings I’ve ever known.

While thinking about the constant presence of my pain, and the burning sensation it often causes, I was led to write a poem. Although, for the first time in a long time, I struggled with writing it, because the words wouldn’t flow. I think my thought process was affected by how tired and uncomfortable I felt and I’m certain it still requires many edits so I’ll post the poem another day. Nevertheless, it’s interesting that what inspires me to write poetry is always so unpredictable and unexpected.

InkTober - Day 28 - Burn

 

InkTober: Day 27 – Creepy

When I saw today’s InkTober prompt: creepy; my mind started down the path of thinking about things that evoke emotions and feelings that are unpleasant and uncomfortable. However, that’s not the direction I wanted to go in. My day had already started out unpleasant and uncomfortable for me because of pain and feeling groggy, so I wanted to think of things that would take my mind and mood into a different space. Instead of going down that path, I shifted my thoughts to reflect on my childhood, specifically the long hot summers I spent with my cousins, when we would spend hours outside trying to collect bugs or what as kids we called ‘creepy crawlies’.

I know now that what we did probably wasn’t the kindest thing for the grasshoppers and caterpillars, and other unnamed bugs we would catch and put in jars, but it was so much fun trying to catch them. In our efforts to keep them alive so we could study them, we always put holes in the lids of the jars and bottles to make sure they could breathe; and we filled the bottom of them with beds of grass, twigs, and leaves so they wouldn’t be hungry. The construction of their new homes would be followed by constant checks to see if they changed in any way. I remember hoping that one of our many captured caterpillars would transform into a butterfly while we slept, and being thoroughly disappointed on many mornings when not one of them had.

I’m not sure how old we were when we stopped chasing grasshoppers and searching through the grass and trees for caterpillars. I do know that I’m glad to have the memories of summers I spent with my cousins just being kids that did silly kid things like collecting ‘creepy crawlies’ and hoping we could turn them into butterflies. I’m even more glad I have these happy memories, and many more, to turn to when I have unpleasant days like I did today, so I can transform my mood and I never have to settle for having a bad day.

InkTober - Day 27 - Creepy

 

InkTober: Day 26 – Box

Now that I have time to look at the world around me, instead of madly rushing from one point to the next as I used to, I’ve realized that most people – I include myself in saying “most”–, tend to live their lives in a box, rarely venturing outside its confines to see what the rest of the world holds. We often have many explanations for why, but they can usually be boiled down to one reason: we find a space where we feel comfortable and develop a routine around the things and people within it. Then, before you know it, the trip we always wanted to take to the place we always wanted to explore is never taken, the hobby we thought might be fun to learn is never learned; or any number of things we dreamed about trying are never tried.

Whether it’s because we are shy, or in some extreme cases have social anxiety, or we doubt our abilities, or we find ourselves in unexpected circumstances, our dreams tend to be the things we let go by the wayside first. We decide that we need to put them aside because the things we ‘have to do’ must take priority over the things we ‘want to do’. Sometimes that is a necessary sacrifice, especially if it’s the job we need to pay our bills and keep a roof over our heads. However, I wonder, what would happen if once in a while we decide to do the thing we ‘want to do’ to see where it leads us?

What if we invested a few hours a week into the hobby – say knitting – we’ve always been interested in learning? What if it turned out that we were great knitters? What if people around us recognized our knitting talent and asked us to knit them something? What if more people saw the thing we knitted and decided they wanted one? And what if over time even greater numbers of people saw our creations and wanted them too? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we could all become millionaire entrepreneur knitters because no one outside our immediate circle of friends and family might ever want anything we make, but we might surprisingly find out that we really are good knitters and we enjoy doing it.

Imagine if we tried. We could find more things that bring joy to our lives. Imagine if the one time we choose to do the thing we ‘want to do’ instead of the thing we ‘have to do’ – the thing that keeps us stuck in our box – becomes the moment we realize we can always make room in our lives for our dreams.

InkTober - Day 26 - Box