Category Archives for Pain Management

My Legs Remind Me Of Elephants

My legs and feet have been swollen, to differing extremes, every day for the past week. When I say swollen I don’t mean the type of swollen you get after walking all day. I mean swelling that’s making it difficult to walk. There is so much swelling it’s impossible to see whether I actually have ankles. My legs look like my feet are stuck to the ends of my calves without the forethought that I might need to move my feet independent of moving my entire leg. The swelling is also making my usual pain more difficult to bear.

I’ve been taking photos of the swelling to document it for my doctors. I started taking photos of changes to my legs and feet last summer when the swelling first started because it was a new symptom but it was intermittent; and I thought it would be valuable for my doctors to see what was happening. The photos I’ve taken this past week show a new pattern in the swelling. In the past, elevating my legs for the day would help reduce the swelling. I don’t know why, but staying off my feet and elevating my legs isn’t helping now.

I emailed the photos I took today to my family doctor so she could see how severe the swelling is. She responded to my message immediately and asked questions about whether I have other symptoms. She asked, “Do you have any shortness of breath, chest pain or coughing?” Luckily, I don’t have any of those symptoms. Because I don’t have any of the symptoms she listed, she said we would discuss the swelling when she sees me. I called the office and scheduled an appointment for the earliest time slot, which is this coming Monday.

The photos I took this morning reminded me of elephants’ legs. I looked up some photos on Google, and amazingly, those photos opened memories from a happier time in my life. The memory was about a day I went to our local zoo a few years ago. It was a special day because it was the first trip to the zoo for the toddler daughter of friends of mine. She was so excited to see all the animals, and it filled me with joy to be there for her first visit to the zoo. I felt a small piece of that joy today as I thought about it. This photo of an elephant is from that day.

My Legs Remind Me Of Elephants

The elephants we saw that day are no longer at our local zoo. They were moved to an animal sanctuary in a warmer climate where they can roam through fields with tall grasses. I hope they are happy in those fields and are being well cared for. I’m happy I have the memory of that day to look back on, even if the swelling of my legs was what made it surface.

 

Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock – Joy & Pain

Zentangle Tile #1: My Body Has Limits

Some months ago, I discovered Zentangle. I started teaching myself individual tangles, which is the name of the patterns created when you draw various lines together. I’ve been adding tangles to the drawings I create in my art/gratitude journal, but for some reason, I kept holding back on actually making a Zentangle tile – that’s drawing tangles on a 3 1/2-inch x 3 1/2-inch square card of paper. I’m not sure why I’ve held back because I bought a few packages of tiles months ago before my surgery. My intention was to make a tile each day as part of my daily meditation or focused mindfulness time – I don’t even know if I should label the time I spend trying to have some quiet or not focus on my pain. The penny just dropped as I read back those last two lines. It seems that every time I try to make something a structured activity I block myself from doing it.

Nonetheless, last week when I went to the hospital for my cousin’s labour, I packed a few distractions in my bag – my art/gratitude journal, Zentangle notebook, pens, coloured markers, and tiles – just in case things took longer than expected. To my surprise, I started a tile – my very first tile. For the string – you’re supposed to draw random lines with a pencil within the border of the tile to make sections so you don’t have to think about where you’re going to add the tangles – I drew the letter B in honour of the baby that was on his way into the world. It took a bit of time for me to flip through my Zentangle notebook to decide which tangle pattern of the many I’ve learned so far to start with, but I settled on one that has become a favourite: flying geese. I had a few minutes to work on filling in the tile, but I had to put it aside when my cousin started having stronger contractions.

I finally got back to the tile today. I needed to focus on something calming because I’ve been having a tough time since I went to the hospital last week to support my cousin during her labour. My body is making it clear to me that I have limits. I knew I overdid it, when walking out of the hospital to find a taxi after the baby’s birth, the soles of my feet and my ankles were sore. Since last Wednesday, my pain has been more intense than my normal levels and my legs, ankles, and feet swelled. The swelling is now declining, but I’m still having some difficulty walking because of the pain.

Today, for about an hour as I finished the tile, my intention to make the lines of the tangles I chose for the tile smooth and filling in spaces with black ink distracted me from my pain. Then I chose which direction was the right side up and focused on adding some shading to each tangle with a pencil. I’m pleased with what I created. I’m also pleased that I found another way to cope with my pain that relies solely on what I can create, even at times when my pain levels are so high.

 

Eagles – Take It To The Limit

The Last Post-Surgery Check

I’ve hit the six-week mark since having surgery without any major complications: my incision is healing well and I didn’t have any infections. I had my last check yesterday with the gynecological specialist who pushed to get something done to get me better and was a part of my surgical team. From his perspective, everything looks good. He reviewed the pathology reports he requested on the growth he removed from my pelvis, my fallopian tubes, and all the adhesions that stuck that growth to my rectum and my fallopian tubes to my ovaries. All the reports came back with no sign of cancer, endometriosis, or any other diseases for concern. He also assured me that there is very little chance of the growth recurring.

However, he wasn’t happy to hear that the surgery didn’t help to reduce, or what he had hoped, end my pain; or the fact that I’m now taking three times the level of pain medication I was taking before the surgery. He examined my incision; ordered some tests, and then scheduled my next appointment for six months from now. We also discussed the pain clinic’s plan to manage my pain moving forward. In the near future, my pain specialist will attempt to manage my pain with acupuncture. The gynecological specialist assured me that my pain specialist is a very skilled acupuncturist. As much as I like her, feel comfortable with her, and trust her many years of experience; it was comforting to get that vote of confidence in my pain specialist from one of her colleagues.

I left my appointment feeling confident, which has only happened a handful of times during the past two years. Everything isn’t perfect, but now that my surgery is behind me, the growth is no longer in my pelvis, and it was clearly benign; my doctors and I can focus on my pain. We can focus on finding a solution to eliminate it because now we know that the growth may not have been the direct cause of my chronic pain, although, it might have been the catalyst that triggered it. The discovery of the growth also raised awareness about the unusual way my body processes high levels of pain. Now my doctors just have to figure out what to do to make me pain-free again.

 

The Police – King of Pain