Tag Archives for art journal

Gratitude and Creativity: Light Up With Happiness

This past week was a good one – all things considered – with the news of a surgery date making it even better. What made it good to start? Last Tuesday, I went to stay at the home of my adoptive Aunt C. It’s the first time since I was about twelve that I’ve spent any extended time with her, but it felt like no time had elapsed. It’s not that I haven’t seen her at the odd holiday dinner or picnic over the years where I’ve received tight, warm hugs overflowing with affection that showed how genuinely she cares for me, but being in her house and having her spoil me for a few days was nice.

When I was a little girl, I used to spend weekends at Aunt C’s house. Sometimes the excitement of the weekend started early. I would get to take the subway by myself to meet her when she finished work, at a designated place, in the central train station downtown. Then we would take the train out to her house in a suburb outside the city. At her house, it would just be the two of us. She would make me my favourite meals and desserts I loved. Aunt C would take me to movies; we would go shopping; or we would just hang out around the house. On top of that, she would treat me to little presents that would light me up with happiness. My time with her was always so happy – and because I believed she was perfect – I once asked her to adopt me.

Light Up With Happiness - Shadow

Light Up With Happiness

I felt some of that happiness this past week, as she showered me with attention, care, and concern for my poor health. There was also a lot of laughter. So much laughter, that at times my pain increased, but I didn’t mind because it was good to laugh with her. We spent some time talking in detail about things that have happened in both our lives that it wasn’t always possible to talk about with crowds of people around at family events. At one point, I questioned myself about why I never made more of an effort to keep Aunt C close in my life, but I know the answer is my mother and the ever-present fear I had about betraying or hurting her. In some ways, it was a get to know you again week, and in others, we just picked up from where we left off years ago.

It won’t be too long until my next visit with Aunt C. Apart from wanting to keep our renewed connection strong; she offered to take care of me after my surgery. I already have plans in place for my immediate aftercare, but I’m grateful for her offer and I will go to stay with her at some point during my recovery. I’m also grateful for the chance to reclaim and rebuild a relationship that was important in shaping my understanding of motherly love. Although, most of all, I’m grateful I’m in a place, emotionally, where I can accept the love she offers to me.

 

Lee Ann Womack – I Hope You Dance

Gratitude and Creativity: Flowers for J

This flower doodle is for my close friend J who had surgery on Friday. Everything went well and now she’s away outside the city at her parent’s home recovering.

I wanted to be at the hospital for her, like she’s been for me so many times in the past two years, but I couldn’t. My pain wouldn’t allow me to and neither would she. J has been a rock for me during my illness and I will never be able to express the level of gratitude I feel for her. She is the one person I know I can count on no matter what. I wish that I could do more to support her now besides just talking to her on the phone and sending text messages. She’s one friend there isn’t anything that would be too great for me to do for her.

Bright Flowers

Bright Flowers

When she’s back home in about a week’s time, I’m hoping we can plan a sleep over like two teen-aged girls. She’s done that for me a few times and we always have loads of fun.

 

Bruno Mars – Count On Me

Zentangle: My Way

I’ve been tangling. I like saying that. Although, it sounds a bit grandiose because I’ve only learned about two dozen official tangle patterns, and completed six regular-sized tiles and one 5”x7” page filled with the two dozen patterns I’ve learned.

I worked my way through the ‘Zentangle Basics 1’ instruction book over the past few weeks. I did it with a few small hacks. First, I didn’t buy the official square white Zentangle tiles because I was uncertain about committing to Zentangle by buying the official kit. I decided instead to use a 5”x7” art sketchbook – the same as my art/gratitude journal – mainly so I can draw the individual steps as I learn each tangle pattern, which I do by tracing the lid of a small loose-leaf tea tin as a frame for drawing each of the steps in a tangle. It has been a good exercise for me to learn the tangle patterns using this method of repetition: not simply because I’m learning to draw them but also because it increases my patience and helps me to focus my attention.

After learning four patterns, I was then going to mark off a 3.5”x3.5” square on a page of the sketchbook with a ruler to use as a Zentangle tile, but I found I didn’t have to measure anything because as I looked around my small space I noticed that my drink coasters measure exactly 3.5”x3.5”. I traced the decorated piece of square glass then I followed the steps outlined in the Zentangle instruction book and I drew a string to form sections within the 3.5”x3.5” space to fill with the tangle patterns. I repeated these steps with new tangle patterns six times and I now have six completed ‘tiles’, and one large 5”x7” mess of 25 tangle patterns. I call it a mess in jest because I’m proud of what I’ve learned, but my eye for perfection can see the few tangle patterns with which I’ve struggled peeking out at me and I have the urge to try to fix them, which goes against the Zentangle method.

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I should add that until about a week ago I didn’t have the recommended Sakura Pigma Micron pens. I started out with an ultra-fine black Sharpie pen. This was partly because it seemed impossible to get a hold of the Micron pens anywhere, and I’m limited in my ability to venture out to do things, so I ordered the Sharpies online. I finally located Sakura Microns online, in abundance, at Cult Pens – Pinterest is a great resource when you’re trying to find something you really want. I have to admit that I find tangling patterns with the Micron pens a lot easier. The ink flows more smoothly, the different nib sizes make it easier to fill in the larger areas in some tangles, and the black ink is richer.

The last hack is one I read about on a blog somewhere – I wish I could remember which one so I could give it credit. Shading is used in Zentangle to add dimension to tangles. You can add shading to the tangle patterns in your tile with a pencil then using a blending stump or Tortillion blend and create a softer effect. The hack I learned is to use a cotton swab/Q-tip instead of a blending stump to smudge and blend the pencil to add dimension to the tangle patterns. This is working really well to add shading to the tiles I’m creating in my sketchbook. It’s interesting to see how I can transform the lines from flat marks on a page to images with depth.

I think I’ll continue to use my hacks for a while longer until I feel more confident, especially because my medications sometimes make my hands unsteady and I fear ruining many real Zentangle squares. However, I will definitely continue to use the method I’ve developed with the lid of my loose-leaf tea tin to learn new tangle patterns when I graduate to using official Zentangle squares. It’s nice to flip through the pages of my sketchbook as a reference for what tangle patterns I can use and to see what I’ve learned.

I had difficulty finding a song to add to this post to reflect the sentiment I had about choosing not to adhere to the precision of the Zentangle method (i.e. improvising with materials), but as I searched for a song about options/choice I came across this song by Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) that felt right: In the End. The blurb on the page where I found the song says, “According to Yusuf Islam, in the song he is asking people to look at themselves and check that they’re making the right choices because they’ll be judged – in the end.”

 

Yusuf Islam – In The End