Tag Archives for doodle

The Second Opinion Surgeon Takes Center Stage

I was having a chat with one of my online blogging friends, All Things Chronic, a couple of days back and I realized I never finished writing the post I intended to about my impending surgery. A few months ago my reluctant surgeon sent me off to get a second opinion with the best colorectal surgeon in the city. After he advised her that I needed surgery to remove the mystifying growth in my pelvis to improve my quality of life, she chose to ignore that advice and wanted to send me for a third opinion with another surgeon who she called her “peer” at the hospital where my misdiagnosis nightmare started.

When I told her I wasn’t comfortable going back to that hospital for any reason – not even to have impacted earwax removed – she offered to perform a laparoscopy to further investigate the nature of the growth. I was more than a little unnerved by that proposal because she also added that if while she was poking around in my pelvis she determined that it was definitely a colorectal issue, she would then move forward with the larger surgery – a laparotomy. The laparotomy is the larger pelvic incision needed to remove the growth and do the necessary resection. The problem with this approach is what would be missing. She would not be able to follow the surgical pain management plan developed by the pain clinic to make sure I didn’t experience unnecessary pain and give the doctors a better chance to manage my post-surgical pain. She also didn’t have a surgical team identified, beyond herself and her resident, to deal with any unexpected issues that might come up during surgery. The final thing she said that really plummeted my comfort level was that if I were her sister she wouldn’t recommend that I have the surgery. Think about that for a second… The question that came to my mind was would she want her sister living with the level of pain I do on a daily basis for the rest of her life.

I left that appointment feeling the most hopeless I have felt since this whole ordeal started. As soon as I got home I called the specialist managing my referrals and got an emergency appointment to see him a few days later. I explained the situation and my fears and he expressed his own concerns about my reluctant surgeons proposed approach. The main concern being that if she only performed a laparoscopy and scheduled the resection for a later date I would have to go through two surgical recoveries, and my pain response couldn’t be predicted. He asked what I wanted to do and said he would support any decision I made. I told him that I wanted the second opinion surgeon to be my surgeon. He put things in motion and all I had to do was call the second opinion surgeon’s office to schedule a follow-up appointment.

The follow-up appointment was about a month ago. The second opinion surgeon agreed to take me on as his patient and immediately got to work on my surgical plan. While I was sitting in the consultation room, he looked at my imaging results again and determined that the mystifying growth is in a place on my rectum that should not require a resection that involves the complete removal of my rectum. He did make one caveat, that imaging doesn’t always give a full picture of what he might find during surgery, but fifty percent of the time, he does find good surprises. If he has to remove a large section of my rectum, I will have a temporary ileostomy inserted. If he must remove my entire rectum, I will have a permanent one. The decision will be made depending on how low the growth actually is to my pelvic floor. However, his optimism about what he sees in my imaging boosts my hopes that even though this surgery is complicated – no bowel surgery is sterile and I could have unexpected bleeding – I have the best surgeon doing the surgery.

The second opinion surgeon also identified the doctors that would be part of the surgical team. There will be a gynecologist – my referring specialist – in case the mystifying growth has caused damage to the right hemisphere of my reproductive organs and my right fallopian tube and ovary must be removed. There will be a urologist, who I most likely won’t meet before surgery, to deal with any damage to my bladder or ureters. If the second opinion surgeon runs into any other unexpected issues during the three hours he booked for the surgery, there will be a pool of doctors he can draw from to join the team while surgery is underway. He will also follow the pain management plan from the pain clinic.

My Hope Is Blooming

My Hope Is Blooming

I don’t have a date for surgery yet. It will most likely happen at the end of August or beginning of September. Although this will be a life altering experience, I feel hopeful. Now I feel secure that whatever the outcome, I’m in the hands of the best surgeon for the job, and he is optimistic and hopeful that I will come out of this with positive results. He was also kind enough to give me his email address in case I have any questions in the meantime. I hope that the positive results he wants for me includes the elimination of this pain I’m living with every day, but I know that realistically that might not happen.

 

Coldplay – Fix You

Gratitude and Creativity: Flowers for J

This flower doodle is for my close friend J who had surgery on Friday. Everything went well and now she’s away outside the city at her parent’s home recovering.

I wanted to be at the hospital for her, like she’s been for me so many times in the past two years, but I couldn’t. My pain wouldn’t allow me to and neither would she. J has been a rock for me during my illness and I will never be able to express the level of gratitude I feel for her. She is the one person I know I can count on no matter what. I wish that I could do more to support her now besides just talking to her on the phone and sending text messages. She’s one friend there isn’t anything that would be too great for me to do for her.

Bright Flowers

Bright Flowers

When she’s back home in about a week’s time, I’m hoping we can plan a sleep over like two teen-aged girls. She’s done that for me a few times and we always have loads of fun.

 

Bruno Mars – Count On Me

Zentangle: My Way

I’ve been tangling. I like saying that. Although, it sounds a bit grandiose because I’ve only learned about two dozen official tangle patterns, and completed six regular-sized tiles and one 5”x7” page filled with the two dozen patterns I’ve learned.

I worked my way through the ‘Zentangle Basics 1’ instruction book over the past few weeks. I did it with a few small hacks. First, I didn’t buy the official square white Zentangle tiles because I was uncertain about committing to Zentangle by buying the official kit. I decided instead to use a 5”x7” art sketchbook – the same as my art/gratitude journal – mainly so I can draw the individual steps as I learn each tangle pattern, which I do by tracing the lid of a small loose-leaf tea tin as a frame for drawing each of the steps in a tangle. It has been a good exercise for me to learn the tangle patterns using this method of repetition: not simply because I’m learning to draw them but also because it increases my patience and helps me to focus my attention.

After learning four patterns, I was then going to mark off a 3.5”x3.5” square on a page of the sketchbook with a ruler to use as a Zentangle tile, but I found I didn’t have to measure anything because as I looked around my small space I noticed that my drink coasters measure exactly 3.5”x3.5”. I traced the decorated piece of square glass then I followed the steps outlined in the Zentangle instruction book and I drew a string to form sections within the 3.5”x3.5” space to fill with the tangle patterns. I repeated these steps with new tangle patterns six times and I now have six completed ‘tiles’, and one large 5”x7” mess of 25 tangle patterns. I call it a mess in jest because I’m proud of what I’ve learned, but my eye for perfection can see the few tangle patterns with which I’ve struggled peeking out at me and I have the urge to try to fix them, which goes against the Zentangle method.

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I should add that until about a week ago I didn’t have the recommended Sakura Pigma Micron pens. I started out with an ultra-fine black Sharpie pen. This was partly because it seemed impossible to get a hold of the Micron pens anywhere, and I’m limited in my ability to venture out to do things, so I ordered the Sharpies online. I finally located Sakura Microns online, in abundance, at Cult Pens – Pinterest is a great resource when you’re trying to find something you really want. I have to admit that I find tangling patterns with the Micron pens a lot easier. The ink flows more smoothly, the different nib sizes make it easier to fill in the larger areas in some tangles, and the black ink is richer.

The last hack is one I read about on a blog somewhere – I wish I could remember which one so I could give it credit. Shading is used in Zentangle to add dimension to tangles. You can add shading to the tangle patterns in your tile with a pencil then using a blending stump or Tortillion blend and create a softer effect. The hack I learned is to use a cotton swab/Q-tip instead of a blending stump to smudge and blend the pencil to add dimension to the tangle patterns. This is working really well to add shading to the tiles I’m creating in my sketchbook. It’s interesting to see how I can transform the lines from flat marks on a page to images with depth.

I think I’ll continue to use my hacks for a while longer until I feel more confident, especially because my medications sometimes make my hands unsteady and I fear ruining many real Zentangle squares. However, I will definitely continue to use the method I’ve developed with the lid of my loose-leaf tea tin to learn new tangle patterns when I graduate to using official Zentangle squares. It’s nice to flip through the pages of my sketchbook as a reference for what tangle patterns I can use and to see what I’ve learned.

I had difficulty finding a song to add to this post to reflect the sentiment I had about choosing not to adhere to the precision of the Zentangle method (i.e. improvising with materials), but as I searched for a song about options/choice I came across this song by Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) that felt right: In the End. The blurb on the page where I found the song says, “According to Yusuf Islam, in the song he is asking people to look at themselves and check that they’re making the right choices because they’ll be judged – in the end.”

 

Yusuf Islam – In The End