Tag Archives for friendship

Outshining A Mockingjay

I slept through my mid-morning medication alarm yesterday morning, which set my day back by a few hours. When I woke up and took my pain medication, it was about 11:45 AM. I took my medication but couldn’t manage to stay awake. Lucky for me, my friend J isn’t a stranger to the risks associated with making plans with me. I finally called her around 1:00 in the afternoon – I was supposed to have called her at 11:00 AM. After we talked and finalized our plans it still took a while for me to get my bearings so I could get moving into the shower and ultimately out the door.

The plan of the day was for us to see the last chapter of The Hunger Games movies: Mockingjay Part 2. We saw the first part together last year and vowed that we would see this one together. My friend J is a huge movie buff; and although she likes to see movies as soon as they are released in theatres, she waited for three weeks to see this with me because my pain made it impossible for me to go any sooner. Seeing movies with J is one of the things I look forward to doing now, not simply because it gets me out of the house, but because we always have a great time and getting lost in a movie takes my mind off how I’m feeling for a few hours.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2

Mockingjay Part 2 didn’t disappoint. The opening scene picked up where the last movie left of perfectly. It was a little strange to see Philip Seymour Hoffman in a newly released movie, but I think the character he plays would have been missed. Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen dominated the story and the screen and there were some unexpected twists. Overall, I thought it was a good 2 1/2 hours with the right balance between drama, action, and my pain.

After the movie, J and I followed through with the usual ending to our movie outing routine and grabbed some food to take back to my place for dinner. We hung out for a few hours more. While eating we caught up on what’s been going in our lives in the past few weeks that we hadn’t covered in any of our check-in calls. I also finally gave her the presents I got her for her birthday, which passed a few months ago – I had a bit of trouble remembering to order them in time for the actual day. As I hoped, J loved the presents, and I must admit putting a smile on her face beat out a day at the movies with the Mockingjay.

 

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 Official Trailer

 

Gratitude and Creativity: We Rise By Lifting Others

The wife of my friend R has cancer. It started as colon cancer for which she had surgery to remove the tumour followed by radiation; and her doctors believed they removed all the cancer. Unfortunately, after a follow-up CT scan they found a new cancerous tumour in her liver. They surgically removed that tumour along with a significant piece of her liver and again treated her with radiation. About two months ago, they found another tumour on her liver. She started radiation treatments for the new tumour a few weeks ago, trying to shrink it, but her oncologists now believe she needs another surgery to remove this tumour too. The looming question is whether there is enough of her liver left from the previous surgery to cut any more of it out.

My friend R is losing sleep over this every night, but he’s trying not to let his wife see it. He’s worried about his wife and her prognosis, but can’t let her know how worried he truly is. In their marriage, he is always the level-headed, strong, practical, rational thinking being. He’s the one that gets things done and takes care of everyone. He manages the household finances, figuring out when they can splurge and when belts need tightening; and he works at pulling his introverted wife out of her shell by trying to include her in his various circles of friendship, taking her on trips to far off places, and always putting her first.

Unfortunately, R’s wife has never warmed to me: even though he and I were friends, long before he ever met her. Her excuses for not liking me have ranged from I’m too young – they are about fifteen years older than me; I’m single – my past relationships have never changed her attitude, and I learned that only a marriage will suffice; and I’m too attractive, which as far as I’m concerned is about her lack of self-esteem. R has hosted dinner parties, where his wife has exchanged so few words with me it was obvious is efforts to spark a friendship between us, were for naught. So, our friendship – R’s and mine – exists away from his wife’s lack of fondness for me.

Even though she’s not fond of me, I’m worried about her. I’m worried that the recurrence of her cancer is a bad sign. According to R, one doctor is concerned that during the last surgery – when they removed the first tumour on her liver – they may have taken too much of one lobe of her liver to make sure that the tumour would not regrow. If that’s the case, they may have to rely heavily on radiation to shrink this tumour then follow up with another CT scan to see whether she needs more radiation or if they have to attempt to remove the remaining mass with surgery. For both their sakes, I’m desperately hoping the radiation works.

Recently, R told me that his wife has lost interest in all the hobbies and activities she used to do before she became ill. I’ve decided to send her a gift that I hope will lift her spirits. I know that she loves flowers: she wanted to open a flower shop when she retires from her current career. I can’t give her a flower shop, but I can give her some adult colouring books with drawings of flowers and gardens, and a set of coloured pencils. My hope is that the simple act of colouring will soothe her mind, distract her from thinking about her illness and pain, and, I hope, re-spark her interest in the things she used to love doing – as it has for me.

We Rise By Lifting Others

I can’t count all the ways over the course of our friendship R supported me through a tough time, or said or did something to lift my spirits. I want to support him and his wife in any way I can. I know that what I’m doing isn’t much, but when I told him about my plan, he was happy and grateful; and I hope it helps his wife, even if it’s just to put a smile on her face.

 

Cyndi Lauper – True Colors

 

It’s Not About Me Today

Today one of my dearest friends is having surgery. She told me not to worry, but of course, I’m worried. She’s one of the people who have supported me through my illness since the beginning. She has come with me to doctors’ appointments – I’ve lost count of how many; she has taken me to and been there when I’ve woken up after many of the procedures and surgery I’ve undergone; and she has opened her home to me and cared for me.

We became friends many years before my illness, and the decades that separate our ages have become irrelevant. She is one of the few women in my life that I trust wholly to guide and advise me because she has lived an incredible life in which she has accomplished incredible things, I respect her tremendously, but above all, she is always honest – even when it might hurt. We have shared hours upon hours of laughter – the kind where you almost pee your pants – and she has opened my eyes to many truths about life. With just a few words, she gives me strength to face difficult situations, and her unassuming nature always puts me at ease. Truth be told, she is important to me in ways that my mother should be.

I can’t be there for her physically, so today my heart and mind are with Z and I am sending her positive energy to support her through, what she says is nothing to worry about.

 

Coldplay – Yellow