Tag Archives for Mental Health

InkTober: Day 26 – Box

Now that I have time to look at the world around me, instead of madly rushing from one point to the next as I used to, I’ve realized that most people – I include myself in saying “most”–, tend to live their lives in a box, rarely venturing outside its confines to see what the rest of the world holds. We often have many explanations for why, but they can usually be boiled down to one reason: we find a space where we feel comfortable and develop a routine around the things and people within it. Then, before you know it, the trip we always wanted to take to the place we always wanted to explore is never taken, the hobby we thought might be fun to learn is never learned; or any number of things we dreamed about trying are never tried.

Whether it’s because we are shy, or in some extreme cases have social anxiety, or we doubt our abilities, or we find ourselves in unexpected circumstances, our dreams tend to be the things we let go by the wayside first. We decide that we need to put them aside because the things we ‘have to do’ must take priority over the things we ‘want to do’. Sometimes that is a necessary sacrifice, especially if it’s the job we need to pay our bills and keep a roof over our heads. However, I wonder, what would happen if once in a while we decide to do the thing we ‘want to do’ to see where it leads us?

What if we invested a few hours a week into the hobby – say knitting – we’ve always been interested in learning? What if it turned out that we were great knitters? What if people around us recognized our knitting talent and asked us to knit them something? What if more people saw the thing we knitted and decided they wanted one? And what if over time even greater numbers of people saw our creations and wanted them too? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we could all become millionaire entrepreneur knitters because no one outside our immediate circle of friends and family might ever want anything we make, but we might surprisingly find out that we really are good knitters and we enjoy doing it.

Imagine if we tried. We could find more things that bring joy to our lives. Imagine if the one time we choose to do the thing we ‘want to do’ instead of the thing we ‘have to do’ – the thing that keeps us stuck in our box – becomes the moment we realize we can always make room in our lives for our dreams.

InkTober - Day 26 - Box

 

InkTober: Day 25 – Tired

I’ve surprised myself by keeping up with the daily prompts of this month-long InkTober drawing challenge. I’m even more proud of myself for using it, as I said I would on Day 1, as a daily mindfulness practice for myself. However, I have to admit that keeping up with the daily challenge has tired me out somewhat; so today’s entry will be short. I need some rest and I must give more attention to my pain today.

One of the things about a mindfulness practice is that being a witness to your experiences also requires you to honour them.

InkTober - Day 25 - Tired

 

InkTober: Day 23 – Slow

My mind and body have slowed considerably since the arrival of my illness. The main causes are my pain and the high doses of pain medications I’m required to take every day to manage it. I’ve experienced what is commonly called ‘brain fog’, which is a state where your mind’s clarity and your ability to understand things are clouded. This forces me to ask people to slow down when they are speaking to me so I’m certain not to miss any of the information they are sharing with me. I also carry a notebook with me, pretty much all the time, to write things down so I don’t forget or have to rely solely on my sometimes cloudy mind to remember things.

Where my body is concerned, on days where moving around isn’t too painful, and even when it is, I move more slowly too. I’ve adjusted my gait and walking pace and sometimes need to ask people I’m spending time with to shorten their strides so I can keep up. The only other time in my life I’ve concentrated so intently on my gait and pace is when I was a runner. It was important then to be conscious of how I planted my foot on the ground with each step: was I controlling my overpronation – the inward rolling of my foot – each time it landed on the ground. And was I running at the correct pace to finish a mapped distance in the amount of time I wanted. All while keeping myself motivated by remembering a running coach’s simple yet truthful advice that the best way to finish a race is by planting one foot in front of the other over and over again.

These changes to my body have been hard to adjust to; however, they’ve also made it necessary for me to live in the moment, which is not a terrible thing. No more multi-tasking and busyness that can make a person feel frazzled and stressed. No more pushing through things in my life regardless of how I feel without acknowledging those feelings. No frantic rushing to meet deadlines without being able to enjoy fully the process of creating or completing something new. No making mistakes simply from a lack of focussed attention on the task in front of you. All of these changes because I need to focus on one item, one issue, and one person at a time so I don’t feel overloaded, anxious, and fatigued.

Because of my illness, I’ve also come to learn that the nervous system is both delicate and resilient. It can easily be thrown off balance because of what we put in our bodies and injuries to our bodies. On the other hand, it also works to stabilize and heal our bodies in response to injuries and foreign substances. Unfortunately, my nervous system has been working overtime to cope with the perceived injury my body experienced three years ago. Until it figures out that the danger is over and it regains its balance, I’ll have to continue moving slow to prevent new complications; and I’ll continue appreciating the benefits that come with living in the moment.

InkTober - Day 23 - Slow