Tag Archives for sick leave

My Horrible Boss: Seeking Solace In Avoidance

Sometimes the only thing you can do to feel okay in certain situations is avoid facing into the facts head on. I’ve been attempting to practice avoidance for months with my workplace harassment case, unless forced into action by my lawyer. I have deliberately not written about any of the progress because just thinking about it causes me great anxiety and physical upset. My body, quite pointedly and painfully, tells me that compartmentalizing the issues and hiding them away for a while longer isn’t a big deal. However, the momentum is picking up as the trial dates approach so avoidance is becoming less and less effective.

In my effort to consciously face into this, I’ll start with how ridiculous I feel when I think back to how concerned I was about the work connected to my job not getting finished when I first became ill almost three years ago. How simple-minded I was to think that I should try making myself available, regardless of my immeasurable pain, to whomever they assigned to fill in for me while I was on sick leave. When you’re a Type-A, perfectionist with a work ethic bordering on workaholism, this is a normal reaction to any issue that might keep you away from your work for an extended period – including a vacation. Feeling this way when I became ill felt right, but the stress and added worry probably caused me more harm than I realized then; and now, years later, the stress of a prolonged legal battle with my employer continues to take its toll.

When all of this started, just shy of three years ago, it never occurred to me that lying and deceit would be the tactics employed by my horrible boss to avoid doing the right thing. In the mediation session we had some months ago it was made clear to me that she, and the other leaders of the company, had no intention of doing the right thing by settling this case instead of continuing to drag it out, as they have done for almost as long as I’ve been ill. It was impossible for me to see any of this coming because, before my illness, I was a committed employee who believed that the company I worked for and the people I worked with had noble beliefs about what they contributed to and created in the world. My past perception is so far from the truth it makes me look like the most naïve person who has ever walked the face of the earth, while shining a bright light on the devious underbelly of a company praised for doing good works in the world.

In a few weeks, I will be heading to court for the final standoff against my employer. My illness triggered a cascade of increasingly bad – meaning void of compassion and empathy – behaviour from my horrible boss and some members of the staff, which made coping with my illness and pain a lot more difficult than it had to be. There were times I wasn’t sure I would have an income and others when I didn’t know how I would afford the mounting costs of my medications. Now, at a time when my income is fixed at a fraction of my earning potential, I’m strapped with legal bills generated because of the need to fight this intrusion into my life, and any potential court ruling will barely land me above breaking even. However, the financial cost to me is insignificant when I think about the fallout that will occur, for my horrible boss and the company she represents, after securing a legal ruling against them.

I know that the added stress from the final push of preparing documents for court contributed to my most recent pain flare up that landed me in the ER. I also know I needed to invest the energy I did, to give all the information I possibly could to refute the lies and inconsistencies presented by my horrible boss. And I know that the statements my doctors provided in support of how negatively my health has been affected by the appalling behaviour of people I once regarded as respected colleagues, bolsters my case. Still, it hurts – more than the physical pain I feel daily – when I think about how much one person’s intentions and actions can make others suffer. I’ve had to cope with unnecessary, external stressors because of my horrible boss in recent years, but hopefully, in a few weeks the court ruling will gift her with a fractional insight into the pain she has visited upon my life.

 

John Mayer – Gravity

 

My Horrible Boss Is a Terrible Pain

The day I called in sick almost two years ago my horrible boss set in motion what has become a nightmare with no end in sight. She came to the hospital to see me even though I made it clear that I did not need her there. During the uncomfortably long visit – it should be noted that she brought one of my co-workers with her – I was lying in the hospital bed in nothing but a gown and feeling incredible pain. My pain was being managed by Oxycodone so I had to fight very hard to concentrate to not let down my defences or my inhibitions, and not reveal any personal information while the pain boiled in my abdomen. With my co-worker present my horrible boss asked me embarrassingly personal questions trying to uncover information to which she had no legal right. She continued to invade my personal life after the visit with daily phone calls asking questions about my symptoms and diagnosis.

Weeks later when it was clear that I was too sick to return to work and needed to take a sick leave, she delayed starting the process for my short-term disability benefits. Under the fog of pain medications and in indescribable pain, I had to start the process myself. First I had to investigate what benefits I qualified for and then submit the paperwork. While I waited for approval of these benefits, my horrible boss decided not to pay me my salary. Imagine my shock when I checked my bank balance and found no new funds. That was the last straw for me. Naively, I filed a formal complaint against her for this behaviour that any reasonable person would agree was reprehensible.

Unfortunately for me, the people to whom I filed my complaint didn’t see it that way. Whether it was down to self-preservation or blind loyalty, the investigation was turned on its head and they started to dig into my life. How sick was I really? Could my doctor provide information to substantiate the need for my sick leave? Could my doctor pinpoint the date when I would return to work? What accommodations or modifications of my duties would they have to make for me when I returned to work? It was only when these questions were answered they started to investigate my complaint against my horrible boss – that was three months after I filed it. And what they characterised as an investigation predictably ended with my horrible boss receiving a slap on the wrist.

I’m venting about this today because I had to engage with this situation again. I had to contact my lawyer. My horrible boss terminated my employment a few months ago without notifying me and she and the powers that be are refusing to reverse the decision. I’ve been trying to figure out which legal route to take to bring this situation to closure. I need to do the thing that will have the least harmful effect on my health but will have consequences that are enforceable for my horrible boss.

Sadly, every time I have to think about this or actively do something it makes me feel a higher level of pain and my entire body feels overwhelmed. I can’t figure out how to process this situation in a way that makes it ok. How is it right for anyone to treat another human being this way? How can it be right for an employer to act so violently against a sick employee? How can it be right for an employer to take away the very things an employee needs to take care of their health and recover so they can return to work? How can it be right that someone living with debilitating pain should have added layers of trauma piled on them by their employer when they are most vulnerable?

I want this stress eliminated from my life.

 

Maroon 5 – Misery

My Horrible Boss

Since the day I called in sick to work 18 months ago my boss has been a nightmare.

I have not been left alone long enough to fully process that I’m so sick I’m unable to carry out most basic daily tasks; or that I may never be pain-free again; or that my body may never be healthy again; and that the one thing that should fix me could further diminish my health.

With this as my reality, my boss has made it her mission to add another layer of hell to my life.

Her attitude was cemented when I refused to share my diagnosis with her. Even though labour laws clearly state that an employer can not – under any circumstances – ask an employee any questions related to an illness. When I filed a complaint about her behaviour the blow-back was and continues to be unbelievable. I’ve actually ended up in the emergency room because I’ve become so stressed – which then caused my pain to flare up – about interactions I’ve had to have with my company.

A few months ago, my company terminated my extended health benefits for things like: prescriptions, dental, visioncare, nursing care, and other health-care services. The prescription benefits covered the cost of my pain medications. My pain medications alone cost hundreds of dollars each month, which I now have to pay for out of my pocket.

Shockingly, I learned about my termination when I contacted my pharmacy to refill my pain medications. My pharmacist tried to process the automated payments. He immediately received an electronic error message from my insurance company saying my benefits plan was terminated.

My boss carried out the termination of my benefits by terminating my employment without notifying me. To accomplish this, she first modified my employment status from ‘permanent employee’ to ‘contract employee’ and then pulled a date out of the air for the end of my supposed contract. She then claimed she had no way of contacting me, which is laughable because I have a collection of emails with retaliatory content spanning the course of my illness.

Not one person I’ve told about this situation can understand the motivation or the logic behind this behaviour. One question keeps floating to the surface: Would my boss’ behaviour be better if I had told her my diagnosis or is she just a horrible person to her core?

 

Depeche Mode probably wouldn’t understand this situation either…

Depeche Mode – People Are People (1984)