During the past few months, I’ve been trying to do more, in spite of the pain I live with daily.
Today, however, the pain forced me to do less. I can’t sit without feeling piercing pain through the right side of my pelvis from where a huge cyst was surgically removed almost four years ago, after I’d lived under the shroud of a misdiagnosis for two years. I also can’t stand without that same piercing pain shooting up and down my right leg and through my right hip.
“We see things not as they are, but as we are. Because it is the ‘I’ behind the ‘eye’ that does the seeing.” ― Anaïs Nin, Author
This is one of my favourite quotes.
It reminds me that I—actually all of us—must be mindful of the assumptions and judgments we make about people in our lives and people in the world around us because we rarely know all the reasons, past or present, that affect someone’s actions and/or behaviours.
I’m still having difficulty writing. However, although I’ve been struggling with my writing, I’ve still been using other creative outlets to cope with the frustrations of my illness. I’m making index card art with more frequency. Instead of using my sketchbook, it’s easier to carry a small stack of white 6 inch x 4 inch cards (15.24 cm x 10.16 cm) and a few pens around with me to draw something, while attending my pain management programs and other medical appointments.
Line drawing and basic doodling have become easy ways to distract myself from thinking about my pain. I guess that makes writing the harder way I’ve chosen to cope with my pain, since the greater my pain the less able I am to focus and concentrate on putting words together on a page. I’m anxiously anticipating a break in the block because writing has always been part of my self-care.
IC #16 – Lined Hypnotic
In the meantime, I can I only hope my pain management program instructors understand that I can draw lines on index cards and still pay attention to the information they share…
My Small Surrenders 