I’ve been weepy all day. I’m on a high pain rollercoaster that won’t let me off. So instead of screaming, I cry. The peaks of this ride keep reaching higher into the stratosphere when all I want is someone to make it stop so I can step off into the slow crawl of life.

But crying helped today. Sometimes being able to loosen the valves helps to relieve some of the pressure. I especially needed it today when I woke up in so much pain I knew immediately I wouldn’t be able to go to the holiday dinner I was invited to attend this evening. The call to express my regrets was a hard one, but my effort to fight back my tears was met with sympathy and understanding.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a weepy day. I seem to move through cycles now. My pain and emotions merge and climb beyond previous limits where my body and mind completely collapse. Then I must pick myself up again and move forward.

I’m crying now as I type. The pain won’t be gone when I’m done but emotionally I will feel just a bit better.

Aerosmith – Cryin’