I’ve wanted a dog for a long time.

Not for the sake of satisfying a fetishized idea of what it is to own a dog; the way I’ve seen people who go out and buy tiny teacup dogs that can fit in purses to match with their favourite celebrities. I’ve wanted a dog because I really do like dogs and because I fell head over heels in love with my dad’s dog a few years ago when I visited him during what I refer to as my “tropical test trip” to figure out if I could handle traveling long distances and flying in general.

My dad’s dog is adorable. You can see him for yourself right here:

_______________ Chance _______________

I returned home from that trip thinking of nothing but when I could get a dog, and more importantly, how I would cope with caring for it while living with daily pain. I didn’t want to become the kind of dog owner who only walks their dog when it’s absolutely necessary. I didn’t, and still don’t, want to subject a dog or any animal to being stuck within the walls of my home day after day because I’m not well enough to take it outdoors for exercise. Nor did I want to become a neglectful pet owner because pain makes it impossible for me to care for its basic needs.

For just over a week, I’ve been taking care of the dog that belongs to some close friends while they are on vacation. I offered to take care of him because, aside from the fact that he’s adorable, I wanted to give myself the chance to see how well, or not, I’m able to cope with taking care of a dog full-time.

_______________ Giorgi _______________

He’s small: a Maltese mix that weighs less than ten pounds, so he’s not able to overpower me with his weight. He’s hypoallergenic, which means he doesn’t shed, so there isn’t any daily dog hair clean up, at all. His exercise requirements are not excessive; therefore, short strolls along my block a few times a day are enough for him to sniff around trees and poles, and make use of the outdoor facilities while getting the exercise he needs. I also had the good fortune of being able to let him run wild around a friend’s property in the country for a few days, which took some of the pressure off me to be physically active more than I am able.

The experience of this past week has given me some valuable information: As much as I’ve wanted a dog, I can’t have a dog.

The toll of getting up early every morning to take him for his first walk of the day alone has been hard to bear. Mornings and the latter part of most evenings tend to be the worst parts of the day for me. Whether that’s because I tend to wake in the mornings after not sleeping well or that the minimal physical activity I engage in throughout each day both increase my pain, I have not fared well this past week. In addition, the responsibility of taking him out for a walk multiple times a day has been hard on my legs and irritated my pelvic pain. I’ve been sore during each walk, and even more so, after we return home. That makes enjoying his company and playing when he wants to play difficult.

As unfortunate as this outcome is, I believe it’s best that I learned all of this while taking care of my friends’ dog for a short period, rather than after making the commitment to get one of my own. I can’t imagine what the effect on a dog would be after being brought home and bonding with a person, then having to be returned to a shelter or a breeder. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for doing that to any animal—or to myself.

I’ll miss my four-legged visitor when he goes home. Although, it has been physically painful for me to take care of him, I’ve enjoyed his company.

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